Peloton Pelvis — It’s a Thing.
The Peloton craze skyrocketed during the pandemic (if you were able to even get your butt on one), but what no one realizes is how their pelvises are being transformed forever by riding them so often. The pelvic floor is responsible for all these anatomical changes, both good and bad. Some of my own personal favorites — Ally Love, Dennis, and Jess King — are behind our experiences. All those “turn the resistance to the right” and “up in third position” help give us enviously high, tight, and round glutes (read: asses). But what it also does is produce excessive sweating, friction, and rubbing in the crotch area, elevated anal pressures (the culprit of dilated veins called hemorrhoids), and significant muscle building — sometimes good (the beautiful booty) and sometimes bad (the too-tight-asshole that causes anal ailments and limits sexual penetration). WTF? Who knew that the way we break a sweat in the gym can affect the way we break a sweat in the bedroom?
The purpose of this blog is to raise awareness on all the potential pitfalls of not only exercising excessively (and potentially incorrectly), but also the extra amount of sitting we are all doing, day in and day out, from our home offices.
Sweat in the Ass
Let’s first tackle friction and sweat. In order to reap the benefits of a hard workout, we have to endure excessive sweating down there, which can be quite a hinderance. If not handled appropriately, rashes and seat burns, fungal and/or bacterial infections can arise. The key is appropriate attire with Dri-FIT technology to allow for adequate airing out of these specific regions, to help keep everything as fresh and as dry as possible. I also recommend the use of butt paste, especially for those long rides or strides that need just a little bit of lubrication. It’s not just anal sex that needs extra TLC. Also, don’t forget to shower post-Peloton or at least change into clean and dry underwear. On that note — don’t forget to constantly change out your underwear selection for new pairs. The old, shitty ones (no pun intended) lose their effectiveness over time.
Anal Pressures Are a Thing
It’s important to choose rides that have an up and down component because it helps relieve some of the anal pressures that can be present when you’re sitting down for too long. These elevated pressures lead to anal muscle spasm and also hypertrophy of the sphincters. Sometimes that’s a good effect, like for those who engage in anal sex and are experiencing a loss of elasticity in their holes (i.e. looseness). The same thing applies to the addition of squats and deadlifts. However, hypertrophy of the sphincters can also be bad for many people. The tighter the hole becomes, the harder it can be to defecate and also engage in anal play successfully. When we lift or ride, try to focus more on gluteal and pelvic contraction instead of anal contraction. I know — it’s easier said than done. The best way to try and accomplish this is to think of a butt plug in your ass while you’re doing a squat. Try to squeeze your butt cheeks all the while keeping the hole itself relaxed. The more you practice, the more natural this will become.
Oh Shit! I Popped My Hemorrhoid
Not to sound like a broken record, but the ass is all about pressures and both dilated veins (hemorrhoids) and tears (anal fissures) are a direct result of increased pressures in this region of the body. Sitting too long at work or on the toilet, too much Peloton or leg workouts, high intensity “squeezing” while defecating, and prolonged anal penetration can all cause local issues that are literally a pain in the ass. So how do we change the pressure?
The easiest thing to do is to not sit for too long. Take breaks from work or get a standing desk. Also, bathroom breaks should be quick. If you feel the urge to shit, go. But if it’s just not coming out, get up and go on with your day. Don’t strain and don’t wait. If you find this happens frequently, you probably need to add some fiber or stool softeners to help move things along. Another tip: even standing up while wiping helps provide anal relief. When working out, make sure you’re using proper positioning during squats and/or riding your Peloton, which can help aid pelvic floor control and relaxation. As I mentioned before, choose rides that switch things up throughout the session. Constantly doing the same thing can lead to detrimental effects, so choose wisely.
Anal Toys Are Not Only for Penetration
When your fitness instructors tell you how important the warm up and cool down period is, it’s the same for the pelvic floor and your asshole. That means: dilate, dilate, dilate! On days when you are doing a helluva lot of sitting and working out with longer rides, you should also be doing more work with anal dilators. The use of toys, when applicable, allows for training of the pelvic floor and breaks the cycle of constant contraction. Adding anal stretching into your routine is no different than any other part of the body. It’s critical to prevent any long lasting damage to a region that is such a precious gift to us all. People ask me all the time — does it have to be sexual? No, not necessarily. Sure, many do and there’s nothing wrong with that. However, these short and quick exercises are really meant to balance times of contraction and times of relaxation.
Sum It Up
In the end, I’m not suggesting you get rid of your Peloton. I fucking love mine and couldn’t live without it (not just physically, but also for my mental sanity). Today’s lesson was more about looking at our daily activities, whether it’s biking, strength training, anal sex, or simply sitting at your desk all day, and analyzing them in a way that lets us know if we need to make any tweaks so that our pelvic floor is staying healthy. By understanding the pelvic floor’s mechanisms — not only its actions, but also its reactions — we can perform these activities better. Better mechanics means better functioning means better bottoming. The end goal is risk reduction, all the while optimizing our body parts. All of them. 😉
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