Does Pooping at Work Get You Down in the Dumps?

During the past 18 months of the pandemic, I am here to tell you that, for most of us, working from home has not only increased our work productivity and mental health, but also it has improved our shitting habits. Being able to listen to your body and shit whenever you want? It’s a fucking blessing. Your own thrown! Maybe even a bidet! An entire room to yourself and the ability to make as much noise as you need to, without some Ken or Karen or — worse yet — your boss in one of the stalls next to you.

Even into adulthood, the office bathroom situation has always and will always continue to be a challenge. Sometimes, it’s a big bathroom with a row of stalls, where there’s a constant wave of colleagues and strangers coming in and out. Other times, you’re lucky enough to have a single occupancy room, but then fear taking so long that a line forms outside (don’t even get me started on those awkward knocks and “Is anyone in there?” disruptions). And most times, regardless of the set up, you find yourself with crappy, single ply toilet paper.

For an act that’s part of human nature — after all, everybody poops — you’d think we’d either be used to it or at least have better options by now, but it’s still a daunting part of our day that everyone dreads. And as a result, many of us try to avoid it altogether or establish some elaborate routine.

Are you the ‘strain and push’ kind-of-person, who tries with all your might, ten minutes before you try to leave the house? You’re just begging for hemorrhoids galore or, even worse, a tear called an anal fissure! And let’s be honest — you know it’s never a complete evacuation this way and sometimes, on your way to work or after your morning coffee, you find yourself needing to go again anyway.

Or are you a ‘I can just hold it’ kind-of-person? This also has a couple of downsides. First, because you’re squeezing your sphincters (so that nothing comes out), you’re actually fucking with your pelvic floor muscles by always keeping them in contraction mode. Not to mention, with all the extra time the poop is stored in the rectum, the poop becomes increasingly harder, which leads to constipation and then, of course, hemorrhoids, fissure, etc. Nothing good comes out of holding it in. You have to listen to the rumbling and the shitting reflex. It’s there for a reason.

Or are you a ‘I’ll just go to my secret spot’ kind-of-person? You’ve searched far and wide and now know where the best (and most convenient) single occupancy bathrooms, out-of-the-way basement or top floor spots, and even hotels are located near your office.

We get it. We at Bespoke Surgical deal with our own shitting habits, let alone all of your assholes (said lovingly, of course). In the end, we are huge proponents of being able to work from home — to be able to shit whenever you want, in the peace of your own commode, with access to all of your essentials — because it provides us a sense of calm in our new “normal” lives. Feel free to quote me and how important gut health is to your overall health and wellness in your discussions about extending remote working. It’s not only for the betterment of your asshole, but also for everyone else who doesn’t have to hear or smell your ass. 🎤

Don’t forget to stay in touch on Instagram: me and Bespoke Surgical.