15 Bathroom Tips From an Anal Surgeon

Are you sitting down? This isn’t your typical Buzzfeed listicle. Rather, I assembled facts, suggestions, and musings to enhance your anal knowledge and benefit your booty, specifically around going to the bathroom. Because no one ever truly taught us anything valuable about our butts (except that everybody poops).

As you probably know by now, all I ever see or think about is ass. This past weekend, I thought, why not start a series of listicles that people will find useful for themselves, as well as friends and family. Your asshole has a mind of its own and would definitely appreciate having a better understanding of its own mechanics. With that said, let’s dive in!

  1. Push through life, except while shitting. That’s how you get hemorrhoids (and fissures).

That’s all, folks. Just some words to analyze and live by. Because when you have a better understanding of your butt, the results are enhanced mechanics and a happier asshole. We may take a lighter approach to anal health, but these simple rules should be taught early in life and be a part of everyone’s education. Next up: a listicle for those who want to try bottoming.

Don’t forget to stay in touch on Instagram: me and Bespoke Surgical.

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